Border Protection

In recent years, all of our fearful attention has been on the boats, Indonesia and Christmas Island when really we should have been watching the planes, the suburbs of Adelaide and the industrial land around airports.

While we’ve been worrying ourselves witless about the Afghans, Iranians and Iraqis arriving by boat, we’ve allowed the Swedes to slip in unnoticed. 

Forget Islamofascism – the real threat is Ikeafascism. 

We must be both alert and alarmed at the infiltration of our suburbs by pancake making attractive young Scandinavians.  The Swedes are the real threat to our culture and traditions.   

These people come to our country and force us to plan.  ‘She’ll be right mate’ is giving way to ‘she’ll only be right mate if we’ve written it down and planned it to within an inch of our lives’.  It won’t be right mate unless we have filed it carefully in a fancy Swedish designed folder or a file or a box or some other twenty first century stylish storage vessel. 

All across the country Australians are planning using weekly planners, daily planners,, monthly planners, yearly planners, hourly planners, wedding planners, party planners, moving house planners, baby planners, lists of things to do planners, lists of things not to do planners, lists of things not to forget, lists of things to forget.  And all of these lists will be written on pads in matching shades of Scandinavian pastels – pinks, blues, and greys. 

And when we take a break from the planning instead of settling in to a good old Aussie barbeque we will rush off to a furniture store where we will walk only in the direction the Swedes allow us ...  to eat Swedish meatballs.

The subtlety of the Swedish destruction of our culture should not be underestimated.  The great Australian dream of the house on its one acre plot is being subverted by the Swedish compact storage systems (delivered in the flatpack) encouraging our young people to opt for apartment living.

And it seems that the flatpack approach is even infiltrating our politics and politicians.

On 17 July 2010, Tony Abbott built his election platform from what appeared to be a flatpack complete with the following   ‘easy to assemble’ step by step instructions:

Step 1 – We will stand up for   [insert country name]

Step 2 – We will stand up for real [insert ‘action’ or ‘change’ or ‘progress’]

Step 3 – We will end the [insert ‘waste’ or ‘red tape’]

Step 4 – We will repay the [insert ‘debt’ or ‘trust’]

Step 5 –We will stop the new [insert ‘taxes’ or 'reforms']

Step 6 – We will stop the [insert ‘BOATS’].

There is a sign in a shop window on Semaphore  Road and it says:

‘Learn about

Swedish language (from a Swede),

Swedish culture and

 coldness (Winter).

Be afraid, be very afraid!